A work in progress...

Checking in / On the road...

2011-10-10T11:21:00.002-04:00

Oops... I am behind on my blogging. I'm going to have to work on that.

Things have been coming along. My birthday came and I had a great celebratory weekend... and it showed on the scale. It's crazy how much of a change is seen with 3 dinners out (it turns out that most of it was water, but pretty disheartening nevertheless. What was worse was the struggle I had to get back on track the next week; I rely on that momentum to stay on track!

Which brings me to now. On Friday I left for a conference for the medical informatics part of my job. Given my track record I was naturally apprehensive about the disruption in my routine... Not only that, but I would have limited control over what I would have available to stay on track. What's a girl to do?

Well, I decided to develop a gameplan. First, I called on my support system to help keep me accountable. They have given me fitness assignments for the 6 days I'm gone. Also, I've been posting my food choices on our Facebook group page. So far, it's been pretty motivating to make a better choice knowing I have to report back later. Perhaps most importantly, I am focusing on doing my best and not beating myself up when I make a less great choice. There is always an opportunity to make a better one next time.

Today is day four and I've been doing fairly well. I have exercised every morning except this one (I needed extra sleep). We are walking all of the time. Aside from the social alcohol, I have been making healthy choices from the available options. And I've been focusing on the positives rather than beating myself up for the mistakes.

That's all for now... Happy Monday!
LP

Catching up...

2011-09-22T13:15:00.005-04:00

Two more days until I begin the second-half of my thirties... (maybe I should stick where I am?). I've managed to keep my craziness at bay so far. I have been filling my time with friends and fitness, and to be perfectly honest, the season premieres on TV. Biggest Loser is so much better of a show when I am doing what I need to in terms of my health - there is much less guilt! I love how optimistic everyone is at the beginning of the show; I remember that feeling. Now my optimism is guarded, and probably will be until I reach that first very important goal (less than 300).

Oh yeah, that's right... I never actually shared absolute numbers on here. Maybe I will catch you up. At my heaviest, I imagine I weighed 365-370 (I remember stepping on a scale once and it said 363, but I avoided them so I really don't know. That was in 2007. When I was having trouble walking from the back pain because of all that extra weight, I knew I needed to do something about it. I started with my first personal trainer on Feb 14, 2008. I weighed 359 lbs at the time. Initially, I had unbelievable results; in 9 months I lost 97.5 lbs. Of course, to do that I was a little neurotic - I was working out twice a day most days and taking supplements to keep the weight loss coming. I slowed down to a healthy and respectable pace, but then I slowly started gaining. It was really hard and disheartening -- I was doing everything I should, and I saw all my results slowly slip away. My trainer pushed me harder and harder and I tore my rotator cuff because I didn't stop when there was pain. That was a bigger setback and more sadness. I'm not sure how I didn't completely throw in the towel when my weight crept back over 300 lbs, but my efforts were not the same. I would go to the gym and work with my new trainer, but I would never go to the gym by myself and I would make excuses not to go if I was too tired. And my eating pattern also reverted back to what I used to do. I was at the point where my life was closer to what it was before I started than when I had success. I had reached my breaking point. I knew I had to break the pattern.

I started my first Body Back session weighing 354 lbs -- just 5 lbs less than my starting point. What a huge slice of humble pie!! (I'm pretty sure humble pie is calorie free, right?) The workouts were hard and I managed to get tendonitis in my hip from running almost immediately. But, this time I was smart about my injury and I persevered. I lost 15 lbs in that first session. I even maintained it during my 3 weeks of dormancy afterward (2 weeks on wards, followed by the hurricane with no power). I had never been so happy to not lose weight! But still, I was ready to hit the ground running and get serious again (no pun intended). I've lost about another 10lbs so far, and I hope to lose 20 by the end of the session. But more important than the numbers is the hope and faith that I have back in my life; I feel my goals are achievable even if it takes a long time.

I love what Body Back has given me. Confidence, encouragement and support. I workout with some amazing women. They are super supportive and I am honored to have them on my journey. They even tolerate my nulliparity (everyone else is a mom). These women showed up in my life at the exact moment I needed them most. Like I said before, I am blessed.

So, Saturday marks my 36th birthday and I will continue celebrating my accomplishments and my blessings. I look forward to what the future holds, and with any luck I'll be even less crazy come next September...

Happy Thursday!

I'm still here...

2011-09-13T16:39:00.002-04:00

So, this is going to be a crazy fall. September is here and it is my birthday month! I do try and celebrate me all month long, mainly because I tend to get really sad and a little crazy. Before I tell you why, let me acknowledge a few truths... I have been blessed in many ways. I have friends and a family who love me, a successful career which I worked hard to obtain, and a strong (relatively) healthy body that allows me to do a lot. I thank God for all of these things in my life, and I trust that he has a special plan for me. But every year around this time, I am reminded of how many things I had hoped to do in my life by now (well years before now). I thought I would have found love and had started a family of my own. I thought I would have reached my healthy weight goal (and probably, if the jouney had been hiccup-free, I would have). And while most days I try to put on a happy face and be optimistic and hopeful, sometimes (especially this month) it's harder than others.

A friend of mine posted this blogpost that really struck home... I have definitely lost my awesome, and I am fighting to get it back. Maybe writing here and recounting my journey will help.

I started my second session of BodyBack. The first one was a success (I lost 15 lbs, and improved on all of my fitness tests including shaving a minute off my half-mile walk/run). I learned that I have a lying scale -- it was too kind to me and told me just what I wanted to hear even if it wasn't true. The doctor's scale is what I use for accuracy now (although I keep the other around just to make me smile when I need a little white lie...).

My goals this time:

- lose 15-20 lbs.

- run the entire half-mile

- keep up my healthy habits while on business trips or on breaks from class.

My plan:

- journal my food everyday

- workout 5x a week

- blog once a week

- utilize my support system when I need it

Well, wish me luck...

Happy Tuesday!

My friend Lisa...

2011-07-07T08:13:00.006-04:00

So, I went back to Body Back class this morning. I had to modify just about everything, but it was good to be there. It's great to be with all of these wonderful, supportive women. Everyone cheers each other on and it is just such a positive environment. I'm grateful that they've taken me in even though unlike everyone else, I am not a mother.

Which brings me to Lisa... She is a rockstar! She is only 9 lbs away from a big milestone and I am 100% certain that we will be celebrating this milestone really soon. She is truly amazing. Lisa pushes herself each and every day and always with the biggest smile on her face. She is such a fighter; today we were doing (or really, they were doing...) these crazy crabwalk/dip things across the room. There was a modification that we could do if we were not at that level yet but rather than opting to take the modification, she perservered and did it. I admire her resolve so much; I think of her every time I want to say "I can't" (and then I do it!).

Thank you Lisa for being an inspiration. I am honored that you are on this journey with me. Rock on!

Happy Thursday!

Updates

2011-07-05T20:58:00.002-04:00

Hope everyone had a fabulous fourth of July weekend!

Mine was rough... work has been very busy and I am tired. I was supposed to have today off, but I worked today, too. It's just been exhausting. Plus, morale has been low. I am looking forward to the weekend, so that I can relax a little.

The hip is slowly on the mend... I have been trying to be good with my prescribed rest and scheduled ibuprofen. It's hard to rest a hip, especially when your job entails walking 3-4 miles a day (I wear a pedometer; that's how I know). Most of the time I'm pain free, but every now and again I feel it...

My nutrition has been okay. I have been good about making healthy choices. I have avoided my common pitfalls like ordering-in or indulging in the goodies that nurses bring in. I have packed my meals each day, including healthy snacks. The problem is I find it hard to hit my calorie target -- one day I was over, but the majority of days I have been under. Writing down my food makes me honest, and my "all-or-nothing" mentality makes me choose better foods.

I know I need to fix this way of thinking... it is the trap I have fallen into many, many times. It's great in the beginning -- my motivation is high and there is a definite honeymoon phase. The scale rewards me with positive results and I keep going. BUT EVENTUALLY, it all falls apart... I plateau, start taking shortcuts, and then the downward spiral. You would think that if I can identify the pattern I should be able to fix it, right? Easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

Speaking of honeymoon periods and positive reinforcement... by my scale (I didn't register on theirs) I have lost 12 lbs since starting the BodyBack program! That's pretty cool. I think I'm going to enjoy my success while it lasts...

Happy Tuesday!

That which does not kill us...

2011-06-29T16:21:00.002-04:00

"You're on the road to success when you realize that failure is only a detour."

Went to the doctor for my hip pain; it turns out I have tensor fascia lata tendonitis. And the prescribed treatment was complete rest, ice, nsaids for at least a week or until pain is gone. Then I can stretch and walk, and then I can start training again.

I was so frustrated I cried in her office. I just got the enthusiasm up. I am determined and going strong and now, ROADBLOCK! I don't have a good track record with when I lose momentum... What was I going to do? I was able to negotiate the ability to do upper body workouts and swim if it doesn't hurt. So, I went to Mom's Treehouse and talked to Alex and Rachel (my Body Back trainers). And I cried again when I told them. But then I was able to calm down and develop a game plan. I will focus on my nutrition, do upper body workouts, and just keep the routine of doing what I can.

I realize that I have a unique opportunity for growth. I can let this defeat me (as I would have so many times before) OR I can persevere and come out the other end stronger and better for it.

Well, that's all for now...

Happy Wednesday!

Good News / Bad News

2011-06-27T20:19:00.002-04:00

Let's start with the good...
I've been going strong for the past week. I am energized and excited still. And, although I may be imagining things, my pants feel a little looser today :)

And the bad...
My hip HURTS! It's been hurting off and on since I started this class. I have a hunch it's from running (I vaguely remember a similar pain the last time I tried to run). I'm really hoping that there is an easy fix (like some stretching that I should be doing), because I don't want to stop now (and I don't really want an EGD or kidney problems from all the advil I've been popping)!!!

Happy Monday!
LP

A surprising decision and starting points...

2011-06-25T11:08:00.004-04:00

Finally, a decent night's sleep!

I woke up this morning and decided to do a 5K... One of my new friends in my Body Back class organized the 'Jack and Abby 5K' in memory of her twin babies that became angels while in the NICU. I wanted to show my support and also, get my exercise in for the day. I decided to walk in honor of Delaney Hope, my friend's daughter who spent her entire life in the NICU.

It was a lovely day and a beautiful event. There were lots of families and everyone was very friendly.

Not having trained or prepared for the race, I decided to just see what happens. My goal was to finish it and I hoped to finish it under an hour. I figured that it would be a great place to start -- I can't wait to see myself improve!!

And I did it! Finished in 57:55. Lots of room for improvement, but today I will celebrate my success.

Thank you Stefanie for hosting a wonderful event and to Jen from Body Back who rooted me on!

Happy Saturday!

Starting over with a renewed spirit...

2011-06-23T08:18:00.005-04:00

I had to get honest with myself...

My journey has taken a serious detour for the worse. Since I was still going to the gym, I tricked myself into thinking that I have been doing what I know I need to to be healthy; I knew in my heart this was not true. All of the healthy habits that I incorporated started to slip out of my life, until I got to a point where my lifestyle was pretty close to what I was doing before I began. And as a result, my weight is pretty close to my starting weight... very disheartening.

But, I could either continue my pity-party or do something about it... and I'm choosing the latter.

One of my neighbors, Rachel P, has taken her Stroller Strides business and expanded it into much more. And even though I am not a mother, I decided to challenge myself and enroll in her Body Back class (even though I don't remember when I actually had the body in the first place). The first day wasn't a full class and I was sore! Today was the second class and it's hard - but I am doing it! I've met some super cool women - they are always cheering me on! Thank you Lisa, Rebekah, Stephanie and Alex for getting me though today's workout...

I am so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort-zone! I am so excited and enthusiastic of what is to come...

Happy Thursday!

It's been a while...

2010-08-04T09:48:00.002-04:00

After a few people asked me if I ever planned to blog again, I figured I should probably check in (especially since my last post was so negative). My friends were beginning to worry if I had given up. Truth be told, it was touch-and-go there for a while... but I had accomplished too much to let it all slip away (luckily I realized this before I was at my original starting point).

So, an update... after I left Sean and started on my own things got pretty rough. I had trouble motivating myself and I was not as strict as I needed to be. I lost more ground, and began to feel sorry for myself. And while I am truly happy for everyone else's successes, reading about them made me feel even more like a failure... so I stopped. I stopped blogging, stopped going to the gym, stopped paying attention to what I was eating. Naturally, I backslid further which made me feel pretty lousy...

In mid-June, I found a new trainer. Her name is Rebekah and she works at my gym. There has been a period of adjustment (her style is very different than Sean's), but working with her has at least got me back on the path. I am getting myself to the gym more consistently, and slowly getting the nutrition down again, too. It's a little humbling that I can't lift as much as I used to, but then again, I think being pushed too hard was what caused some of my injuries and my failure. I know it's going to take time, but I have hope that I can once again achieve my goals.

Anyway, Friday is my first fitness assessment since coming back to training. I am not sure that I have made much progress, but I am at peace with whatever the results may be. I plan to chalk it up to experience and keep going...

Well, that's all for now... Happy Wednesday!

Rock Bottom...

2010-05-10T12:11:00.002-04:00

(I guess you can probably tell how this post is going to go...)

I'm in one of those moods. I honestly was revved up to go exercise this morning. I went to the gym and hit the treadmill and I was "rewarded" with knee pain. Aggh... seriously? As if finding the motivation to do what I need to isn't hard enough. I'm beginning to think I'm never going to reach my goals... I'm slowly unraveling all of the hard work I've done. I'm watching my dreams fade away.

I am down in the dumps. I guess I'll ride it out (not that I have much choice)... a positive attitude is bound to return at some point, right?

Here's hoping your Monday is better than mine!

Getting there...

2010-05-01T09:27:00.002-04:00

Hey all --

It is a beautiful Saturday morning here in Richmond, VA. The sun is out and it's warming up -- and to risk sounding like a rhyming dork -- spring is in full swing!

I had a lovely walk/run this morning. Since I slacked off 2 weeks, I went back to week 1 of the C25K program. I found a couple of new podcasts with music that is more my style (the first one worked, but the music was a little too new-agey for my tastes). It was great, but harder than I remember. Payback for taking such a long break, I guess.

As I've mentioned before, I love when I am in this enthusiastic and positive headspace! I wish I could keep it sustainable. But maybe the better way to deal with this is by accepting the lows with the highs. Learn to work through the lows because the highs will return soon enough.

Cheers!

Coming out of hiding

2010-04-29T10:12:00.002-04:00

Well, 2 weeks has come and gone... I just finished a 14 day stretch at work. This was the most emotionally, physically and mentally draining stretch ever. I had some really sick patients and some really stressful days; I don't really want to get into it, but suffice it to say that I am glad that it is over.

As far as fitness goes, I haven't done anything in 2 weeks. It's the longest that I have gone without working out since I started my journey in Feb 2008. I went to the gym the first day of the stretch, but the I fell and hurt my knee that night It was nothing serious... I just wanted to be safe and rest it for a day or two. Two days then turned into four, which turned into seven which turned into 14. I just couldn't stomach the idea of getting up at at 4am when I was just so tired! Maybe my not getting to the gym added to my exhaustion and stress, but I felt that it was the right decision at the time.

The good news? I managed to maintain my weight during this time. Over my month without Sean, I lost something like 8 lbs (8 from my last official weigh in -- it could be more or less overall since I can't remember if my weight was higher or lower when I decided to do it on my own). I'm even moved the ticker! And I'm on the fence of my initial goal again! I never shared it with all of you because it involves my actual weight... I got there once before on this journey and promised that I'd never get there again but then I backslid. Hopefully, I can make it stick this time.

So it's back on the fitness trail today! I'm seriously considering going back to Sean, but I need to think about what specifically I need and want from him first.

Happy Thursday!

Motivation/Consistency Problems

2010-04-14T11:45:00.003-04:00

... I guess this is where the trainer comes in handy.

I am having problems getting it together. I know what I need to do, but making myself do it is another story. Yesterday, I kept telling myself that I needed to get to the gym to do my elliptical workout... I didn't listen. Today, I am supposed to do a run/walk workout. I also have 15 other things that I need to do before I start yet another 14-day stretch at work. Hoping I can find the time and motivation to actually do it.

and now for the pity party...

What is wrong with me? I can't seem to figure out why I sabotage myself. I am my own worst enemy. I'm angry and disappointed with myself. Agghh!

OK, now that that's out my system... what's next? I guess I have to just keep trying. After all, I'm in this for the long haul, right. If it were easy, I would have done it a long time ago.

Happy Wednesday!

C25K and My New Goal

2010-04-12T10:06:00.002-04:00

For my next race I'm going to do the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. It's a 5K on May 8th. It's probably premature for me to expect to run the entire thing, but I would like to at least run half of it. Hopefully, it will help me stay on track with my other fitness goals.

I found a podcast to help me along the way. It's called C25K (which stands for couch to 5K). Basically the same premise that I have been doing with alternating running and walking, but what's great about it is that I don't have to time myself, because the guy tells you when to start running or walking. The first week in this program is 60s runs and 90s walks, so guess what? I graduated (I had been doing only 30s runs before this). It was harder than I thought but I got through it... I didn't have the energy to walk the extra time (the first week only calls for 30 min and I usually do more than that in my cardio workouts), but maybe I can go for a second walk later.

Not a bad start to the week!

Happy Monday!

The Importance of the Bounce-back

2010-04-10T13:47:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been a rough week... first traveling to NY and visiting with family (which always includes way too much food) and then working 2 night shifts really messed with my routine. I've been dragging. I still haven't gone grocery shopping and so my food choices have been crappy. I'm not proud of how this week has gone...

... BUT, I can choose to start again right now. And when you think about it, isn't it what this journey is all about??? Recommitting to myself every day. Life happens. Stuff inevitably comes up that knocks you on your butt -- it's how quickly we can get back up that is the key.

Time to go work out... catch ya' later!

Have a great weekend!

Power of Positive Peer Pressure / Week 2 Goals

2010-03-29T10:47:00.004-04:00

Can I just say, I love my neighbors! They are such a good influence. I don't think I would have ever aspired to do any races on my own without their example. Everyone is so supportive of each other... it's just the best (clearly I'm rambling, but I really can't describe how lucky I am to have moved to such a cool street).

Anyway, one of my neighbors, Rachel P, is helping me get started on my own. She is also a trainer and owns a fitness company designed for moms called Stroller Strides. Be sure and check out her blog. I really appreciate all of her help and wanted to give her a little shout-out here...

Here are my goals for week 2:

MON (done): Run/walk workout on the treadmill - 60 min

- After doing the 10K, I wanted to be able to run more than ever. In the fall, Rachel gave me a training program to be able run the 8K, but it was a little too hard for me. So, I'm trying again, but starting out a little easier: run 30 seconds, walk 90 seconds for 20 min, then walk for the remainder of the time.

- It was challenging, but doable. I walked at 3.8-4 mph and ran at 5 mph all at a incline of 1. The second 20 minutes were a hill workout, with inclines of 2-10 and speed of 3.7-4 mph. The final 20 minutes were a brisker walk, incline of 2 and a speed of 4-4.3 mph. Calories burned: 825.

TUES: HIIT on elliptical/ab workout

WED: I'm considering taking today off, but if the weather is nice I plan on taking a walk after work.

THURS: Another run/walk workout. May be outside, but it's going to be an early am workout.

FRI: Either a swim workout or HIIT on the elliptical. Driving to NY, so will sneak small walks at a rest stops.

SAT: If it's nice, I'm thinking about walking Lake Mahopac. It's another long walk. If it's raining, I'm going to do a hotel workout (probably the elliptical, maybe the treadmill.

SUN: Rest, and enjoy Easter with my extended family.

I anticipate a few challenges. First, I go back to working the day shift Tues-Thurs, which means I have to get up and exercise at 5am without having someone to meet. Second, traveling means I need disruption to my routine and having to improvise (staying in a hotel, probably going out to eat with friends and family). I think being aware of the possible obstacles makes it easier to overcome them...

Happy Monday!

Monument Ave 10K... with a little help from my friend!

2010-03-27T12:26:00.004-04:00

Today was race day. Earlier this week I received FB mail from Kelly, a friend of mine from HS, encouraging me to go ahead with race whether or not I had prepared like I should. The gist of it was "if I have to drive my butt up to Richmond to do it with you, I'd be more than happy to"... Who could say no to that? Not only did I have someone to walk with me, but I got to catch up with a great girl that I hadn't seen in ages. I was in...

Last night Kelly came up and we chatted, gossiped, and reminisced. I think we figured out that it had been like 6 1/2 years since we saw each other last. She's in school getting her PhD in physical therapy, so she came up after classes and got into Richmond in the evening. We tried to figure out our gameplan for parking and arrival times (it is a huge event with over 37,000 runners), and then off to bed...

Bright and early we headed downtown. We were fortunate to find a spot pretty easily and so we had some time to kill in the cold. But it was a lovely sunny day here and we warmed up soon enough. We walked the most of it, but jogged a few little stretches to justify our wave (It was a jog/walkers wave -- 90 to 100 min). There were a couple of times that I thought I couldn't go further, but walking with Kelly helped pass the time.

With all of the people I knew running today, I was surprised that we didn't see any of them. But we did see my friend Lydia at the end and she took this picture for us...

So, before I started training, I had hoped that I would finish in 90 minutes (averaging about 15 min miles...). We all know how my training went (it fizzled) and so I was pretty pleased when I finished in 1:40:08 (averaging 16.1 min miles). And considering that my 8K time was 1:26, I did pretty well...

So now the question is... when is the next race??

The Honeymoon High

2010-03-25T10:40:00.007-04:00

If I could bottle the energy and enthusiasm I have for my workouts when I start something new...

1) Nobody (including myself) would be overweight or unhealthy again

2) I would be a very rich girl

Alas, since that's not going to happen, I need to find a way to make this feeling last as long as possible. Momentum is KEY when it comes to my fitness endeavors... once I lose it, it is oh-so-hard for me to stay on track.

Hopefully the excitement and new-ness will carry me through this latest life-stress... I got a call from my dad while I was at work last night telling me that my grandmother is not doing well. I don't have enough information yet, but hopefully the doctor will give me a call today. It's just so hard to piece together what is really happening when I get information third-hand (the doctor tells my uncle, who tells my dad, who tells me). And being a doctor myself, I always have a gazillion questions.

For now, I will enjoy the stress-reducing benefits of my exercising, and pray that everything will be okay...

Happy Thursday!

Week 1's plans...

2010-03-23T09:09:00.006-04:00

So, I decided to post my weekly workout plans here...

Monday: (done)

25 min of HIIT on the elliptical/10 min abs

55 min walking/3.25 miles.

Tuesday: (done)

90 min walking/5.5 miles

Wednesday:

elliptical workout. 30 min HIIT/15 min steady pace

abs/core workout

Thursday:

treadmill "hill" workout (speed 3.6-4, incline 5-10)

Friday:

swim workout/laps.

abs/core workout

SATURDAY: RACE DAY! Monument Ave 10K ***

Sunday: rest :)

*** There has been a lot of inner debate about whether I should do the race or sit this one out. I definitely stopped training and feel a little unprepared. But after today's workout and after much encouragement from all of my friends and cheerleaders, I've decided to go for it!! If nothing else, I can certainly get a life lesson or two out of it (like the importance of follow-through and finishing something you started?)

So the promise I made myself when I decided to workout on my own was to do cardio at least 4-5 times a week, and some other workout (right now I'm focusing on core exercises because of all my aches and pains) 3 times a week. This week is ambitious... but I do have wiggle room if I need it. Just have to meet the minimum... the rest is bonus!

Happy Tuesday!

Branching out...

2010-03-22T12:28:00.002-04:00

I realize I haven't blogged in forever... Things have been crazy lately. I've had some struggles, and I needed to take some time to think. I've been meaning to give you an update (there were 5 half-started posts in my blogger account) but I didn't know what to say. And so many of you have been cheering me on... I really didn't want to disappoint you with my struggles and negativity... I needed some time to step back and think.

My workouts at the gym have been schizophrenic... I could have an amazing workout one day and then an awful one the next. I have been having some pain issues and have been struggling with motivation. My trainer has been trying to motivate me "Jillian-style", which doesn't really work for me. I believe that I give my all every time I exercise, but sometimes I just don't have much to give. I've been frustrating Sean to no end... and one day the tension even came to a head! He heard me say something horrible under my breath, and our workout ended short that day. And while things were okay after that, it was obvious that something had to change... because it's only a matter of time before the next breakdown at the gym.

I've been thinking a lot about the next step on this journey... Should I suck it up and continue the way things are -- you know tough it out? Should I find a new trainer and start over? Should I give in and make the appointment for gastric bypass surgery? What did I really want to do??? After much deliberation and prayer, I've come up with a new game plan...

I've decided to take a break from working with Sean. I think I need to prove to myself that I can workout and exercise on my own without a trainer. It's not like I'm going to have a trainer forever, and I have to have learned something over the past 2 years... It's both scary and exciting, but I think I'm ready.

I talked to Sean about my decision. He was very supportive and encouraging. We're going to try it for a month. I'll be checking in with him weekly to see how things go. If it's a disaster, the door is open to come back.

I'll keep you posted on how things go! Wish me luck...

Happy Monday!

checking in...

2010-03-03T09:00:00.003-05:00

Wow, I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I've written... It's time to check in!

Things are going pretty well still. I am still enjoying the new workouts. I am grateful for the cardio workouts that I am doing with Sean bc I haven't been very good about doing them on my own (although, I did twice last week go to the gym on my own... I can be proud of that). Yesterday we did a stretching/yoga-lite workout. It was good, although I think I may have to look into getting a block and strap to modify things a little. Some of the things I am not able to do just yet...

Nutrition is going okay... Lent is helping me stay on track.

Unfortunately, I found out that the person who was going to do the 10K with me is now unable to (he forgot that he was working in the ICU that weekend)... anyone want to join me? I'm signed up in the Walk/jog category, so it should be doable. I'd love the company!

So, consider yourself caught up ;)

Happy Wednesday!
LP

Switching gears...

2010-02-23T11:42:00.003-05:00

Have you also noticed that every time I have a something positive to report it's almost immediately followed by frustration or setback? I have. I don't know if I get super excited, only to let myself down or I jinx myself or what... but I do know I'm over it. I'm going to practice some "guarded enthusiasm"...

I've started my new training sessions with Sean... so far, so good. We're a lot of doing elliptical and treadmill workouts and it's been going pretty well. It's still early in the game, but it is nice not to have my shoulder hurting all the time. The only thing that is going to make the back pain go away is losing the weight again... and that is going to take time and patience mixed with hard work!

As for my assessment, it went as expected. In a way, it was actually a relief to see my numbers in black and white... they weren't pretty, but they are my reality at this time. I've decided that beating myself up for them is futile. Live and learn and move on...

Happy Tuesday!

Time to rewind... (since I'm going backwards anyway)

2010-02-17T18:09:00.004-05:00

Things imploded yesterday at the gym... I've continued to have back and shoulder pain and it has been holding me back. The back pain is exactly the same pain I used to feel when I was heavier and I have no doubt that it is related to the weight that I have gained back. I used to be able to handle a lot heavier weights, and now I struggle with lighter ones. I was the elephant in the room (pardon the pun).

Yesterday during my workout when my back starting acting up (literally bringing me to tears again), Sean said "I think we need to back off on the strength training for a while". This broke my heart... I know it's probably true, but I am afraid that without the strength training I am heading for disaster. I need to keep going. I need to lose this weight. I am DESPERATE to lose this weight... I tried hard control my tears the best that I can.

So, what's next??? Lots of cardio, rehab exercises, and strict nutrition. I did HIIT on the elliptical training this morning for 30 minutes and while I worked hard, I noticed that I couldn't do as much there as I once could. How much exactly had I been slacking with the extra cardio?? Clearly, more than I led myself to believe. I'm going to persevere and get back to where I once was... it's just going to take patience.

Wish me luck!

Happy Wednesday!

Things are looking up!

2010-02-11T11:01:00.002-05:00

Hello... it's been a while since I posted. My blogging and my 10K training have taken a long winter's nap.

Sunday is a very special day for me (and it has nothing to do with that Hallmark holiday). It's my 2-year anniversary of going to the trainer and changing my life. Even though I've had my ups and downs on this journey, the most important thing is that I haven't given up! I have a long way to go on this quest for a healthier life and I'm pretty sure the best has yet to come...

I had a good workout today with Sean. It was exactly what I needed. And while it's going to take more than one good workout to fix my current situation, I have hope that maybe I can still make training with Sean work. I need to figure out what exactly I want and need from my trainer, and communicate that to him.

So I have an assessment on Saturday. I know that I've gained a bunch a weight and I think I'm going to keep the results of this one to myself... I should probably update the weight loss ticker too, but I think I may just leave it where it is. Maybe I should take it down until I get back to losing again???

Happy Thursday!

A case of the blahs...

2010-02-02T09:23:00.003-05:00

This weather is killing me... 17 years ago, when I decided to come to Richmond for college I honestly thought I was getting away from terrible winters. My senior year of high school brought weather that made NYC close twice... that was enough for me to get the heck out of dodge!

And now, we're looking at the possibility of a 3rd big snowstorm this season! I am so unprepared. My civic is not equipped to drive in this and to be perfectly honest, I don't trust others driving in it either. I'm pretty tired of being dependent on my 4WD-driving friends to get around. And the thought of being stuck at work again just makes me so sad... I did it in December and it was not fun. I keep praying that the meteorologists are wrong (but so far that's not working...)!

It has been a challenge to get my exercise in which is not helping matters either. It's been over a week since I have been able to do 10K training (first swamped at work, then this weather). I think not getting the exercise in is also breaking my spirit... I want to stay positive, but can't seem to actually do it.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in. I'm sorry it's not a more cheerful or inspiring post... but if it were, it wouldn't be real.

Happy Tuesday!

p.s. - I wanted to thank everyone for all of the support! Lots of people have been telling me they're following me on my blog... it means so much to me to know I have so many cheerleaders!

Feast or Famine...

2010-01-31T19:00:00.000-05:00

Life is getting in the way of my goals...

Work was crazy busy last week. I got called in for someone who is sick yesterday and all I can say is what a doozy of a day... today was no better. It's so busy, that I barely have time to pee! I have skipped meals and got to the point of lightheadedness, headache and blurry vision... good grief!

I know that this is not healthy and not good for my sanity. I am so exhausted that I haven't been able to work out...

And then came the weekend... I was off Friday and Saturday. I slept -- a lot! And my nutrition was off then too... too lazy to make meals, I ate little things all day long. They weren't really unhealthy things -- yogurt, almonds and craisins, brown rice (I'm not sure what it is about the brown rice), fruit, and various other things. Worked out on Friday, but that was it.

So, it's quite apparent that I need to find a balance.

Luckily, I have a new week to try again...

Have a great night!

False start...

2010-01-23T10:18:00.002-05:00

I tried to get out there this morning and get my miles in. "Tried" was the operative word in that sentence. I ran out of steam pretty quickly and just couldn't get going. Especially the bursts of running... they just were not happening. I was only aiming for 90 second intervals. BOO!

I decided to come home and try again later... I mapped what I did do on SP - 1.09 miles in 16 min. My time is on target (I aim for 15 min miles or faster), but not a good enough workout for the day. Maybe I can get a neighbor to come later... this way someone can push me if I get stuck!

Later,

A new day

2010-01-23T08:38:00.003-05:00

Good morning, everyone!

I'm glad yesterday is behind me... it turns out that someone hacked into my "friend in need"'s facebook account and so really, I "helped" a stranger. Thank God I didn't help anymore, except for praying for him and for the ability to forgive him and myself. I learned an important lesson about trust and gullibility, and will be wiser the next time should something like that ever happen again. I know most of my friends are smarter and more savvy than me, but I wanted to let you know what happened so that you too can learn from my mistakes.

I didn't do the best with my nutrition yesterday either... I took my nap, but then came downstairs and proceeded to mindlessly snack. It's a good thing that I've cleared out all of the junk food from my home, otherwise the damage could have been much much worse.

But, today is a new day! I can put all of that behind me and start over... I woke up rested and am going to go for my walk/run shortly (I'm trying to wait for it to warm up a little more). I can make healthy food choices all day. I can do something kind for myself and try not to beat myself up for yesterday's mistakes... yes, today is going to be a much better day!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Laura and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

2010-01-22T12:07:00.002-05:00

Some days, I wish I had just stayed in bed...

I woke up to a text message about how I'm making somebody in my life whom I love dearly miserable and depressed... I know that I frustrate her to no end, but that's not my intention. We probably are too alike which in my experience makes it more difficult to get along. I promised to try harder... I hope that is enough.

Then a friend messages me that she is in need, and while I help her as much as I can, it's not enough... she needs more help that I cannot provide.

I went to work out. Did my cardio (a treadmill workout of walking and running) and then a lower body workout with Sean. Actually I think this went okay.

But now it's gloomy and raining and all I want to do is cry and go back to bed... which is actually a better option than eating. Maybe this is an "aha" moment... emotional eating is part of the reason why I am so big.

I know I'll get through it -- ride out the day. One of my friends and I are supposed to get together tonight which should be fun. But for now, I think I'll take that nap...

Have a nice weekend!

10K training update

2010-01-20T11:51:00.006-05:00

Sunday was day #1 - walk/ran 2 miles... see previous post

Mon 1/18 -- Strength training with Sean - upper body. No time for extra cardio (got home late from work), but did "run" around the hospital and took the stairs whenever possible.

Tues 1/19 -- Strength training with Sean - lower body. Again, no real time for cardio as I got home even later from work (see above).

Wed 1/20 -- Hit the road... walk/ran (walking > running) the neighborhood. Covered 3.98 miles in 61 minutes.

66 days to go! If the race were tomorrow, I'd definitely be walking... I'm still hoping that I will be able to run the majority of it, but I have a long way to go! Let's see what I can do in the 2 months left!

To be continued...

Sparkpeople.com

2010-01-20T09:41:00.002-05:00

Hello, everyone...

So I know that I've mentioned SparkPeople before... it's a free healthy living website that has a free nutrition/fitness tracker, countless articles about fitness, health and wellness, tons of healthy recipes and motivation from other people with common goals. I've dabbled on the site before but never really got into it... until now.

Last week though, while looking for my new game plan, I started using it again. I really like it! I've been faithfully journaling my food and it counts everything up and tells me how I'm doing (it has meal plans, but I don't use them because I don't like being told what to do... haha). I've been logging my fitness too and it even has a "map my route" feature which helps with the 10K training. I've even set up some other goals (like journaling every day, drinking my water and getting enough sleep) that I can track. But I think most important for me is that it has given me the sense of being back in control...

So, if anyone else is looking for a free site to help them... I encourage you to check it out! You can even add me as your SparkFriend - I'm LauraP924 of course!

Happy Humpday!

What we have here is a failure to communicate!

2010-01-18T19:57:00.002-05:00

DISCLAIMER: I had fitful sleep at best last night and I am CRANKY.

So, I decided to stick with training with Sean for now. What it boiled down to is I don't think that I would go to the gym and do strength training on my own. Also, although I probably sound a little bratty lately (out of my frustration about my setbacks), I really am grateful for the help he has given me. If I had never started working with Sean, I would probably be at least my starting weight and more likely heavier. He has given me tools that I use (or at least think about using) everyday that help me on my journey to a healthy life. And, although the new gym is terribly inconvenient for me and requires me to get up at 4am instead of 4:30, I do appreciate his flexibility in coming in earlier so that I can train in the first place. So for that, THANK YOU Sean... I don't know where I would be without your help.

HAVING SAID THAT, sometimes going to the trainer just infuriates me. I have a lot of pain issues (I think subacute sports injuries or complications of my being so big), especially in my right shoulder and my lower back. These pains prevent me from doing some exercises for the number of reps or the weight that Sean would like. I let him know that I am in pain, but often I think that he thinks I'm just making excuses. What I would like for him to do is acknowledge the pain and modify the exercise, rather than either just ignoring me and making me push through it or just getting angry and stopping the exercise altogether. The other thing that drives me crazy is when there is a simple misunderstanding in his instructions. What happens he'll say something like "stand behind the bench" but mean in front and it confuses me or he'll say do push-ups "off of the knees" which I take to mean stay off of my knees. Rather than just clarify, he appears to get annoyed. All I'm asking for is a little patience.

So there you go... I told you I was cranky! Hopefully tonight I will get more sleep and be back to my usual sunny disposition!

Happy Monday!

10K training... off to a soggy start!

2010-01-17T08:48:00.002-05:00

So, the Monument Ave 10K is 10 weeks away... and while I had hoped to get a head start on my training, in true Paletta fashion, I procrastinated instead. Although since all of the training groups I know about had their first run yesterday, I must be right on track.

The plan was simple... get up this morning before church and walk/run for 40-60 minutes. I went to bed at a reasonable hour and set my alarm for 6:15 -- I was ready! And when I woke up, what did I find??? It was raining.

Call it determination, stubborn-ness, or stupidity, I decided that a little rain wasn't going to wash out my first training session. So, off I went iPod full of my rocker girl tunes, full of a can-do-anything spirit! Ha! Ten minutes in, I was drenched! I think my clothes weighed an extra 5-10 lbs because they were saturated. I realized pretty quickly that I was not going to be able to get in all that I had planned... but I'd do my best.

All in all, it wasn't a terrible start. I did 2 miles in 30 minutes. I did more walking than running (as is still my usual M.O.), but I give myself an "A" for effort.

Until next time, Happy Sunday!

Soliciting thoughts from the peanut gallery ...

2010-01-14T09:59:00.004-05:00

Where does that expression come from anyway? I mean, peanuts can't talk!

Anyway, I'm thinking about getting a Wii Fit and I'm interested in your opinions... Any of you have one? Do you use it regularly? Do you like it? I don't want get one if it's just going to end up gathering dust...

Have a great day!

Coming up with a game plan...

2010-01-13T13:11:00.002-05:00

Can I just say, it was WONDERFUL sleeping in this am??? I so needed that. I'm still not back to my old self, but I think I may be a little better today...

I'm still trying to decide in what direction this journey is going to take me now. Do I continue with Sean, even though it seems that I'm no longer getting the results I desperately need? If not, what is my next step? It's not like I can just stop my journey here - I have a long long way to go before I am healthy.

So that's where I am... I have a lot of soul-searching and strategizing to do! If I'm not successful, I will have to make an appointment with the surgeons, which is something I still really really really don't want to do!

Agghh! I need another nap!

Happy Wednesday!

The slippery slope...

2010-01-12T10:35:00.002-05:00

I finished another 14-day stretch on wards on Sunday and came down with a horrible cold. Mostly URI symptoms, but also no energy and achiness all over. Yesterday all I did was sleep! I had both of my flu vaccines, so I'm pretty sure it's just some other nasty cold virus...

It seems like this cold has also wiped out my motivation, too. I decided that I need to take some time off from training. Sean reluctantly let me cancel and I will check in with him on Thursday to see if I'm ready to come back or if I want to take the entire week (or longer) off...

I'm hoping when I'm rid of this cold, I'm rid of the bad attitude too. Hopefully my motivation will come back before it's too late...

So, if you hear from me in a while, be sure to check in!

Happy Tuesday!

My "New Week's" resolution...

2010-01-03T13:19:00.002-05:00

I've decided that New Year's resolutions are too hard to keep. Instead, I'm going to make my resolutions more frequently in order to increase my chances of success...

My New Week's resolution?? To stop eating candy at work. My boss's Christmas present to us all was to stock our team room with snacks. Some were healthy (granola bars, bottled water) and others (like candies and chips) not so much. And being both a stress eater and in the middle of a 2 week long stint at work has been a dangerous combination... it's got to stop!

So, I'm putting it up here to increase my accountability... No more candy from the office supply. I bring plenty of healthy snacks and will be fine with them. For those of you who work with me, if you catch me slipping, I'd appreciate a vague comment referencing my blog (like "I read your last blog post") ... I'll know what you mean...

Happy Sunday!
LP

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T16:45:00.002-05:00

Wow, 2010 is here... can you believe it?

Yesterday I managed to steal a few moments for reflection on the past year. Last year was quite a rocky one on my weight loss journey... it was an uphill battle for all of 2009. And it's a little disappointing to think about how this detour cause significant delays in my reaching my final destination. I had projected that I would be at a healthy weight by my 35th birthday -- unfortunately, that is no longer mathematically possible... sigh...

While I may have lost progress and made mistakes this past year, I can be proud of some of the things that I achieved. I did my first race (well, not counting the Lake Run 10K in junior high) and signed up for my second. I met a lot of wonderful new people and learned the value of great neighbors. I went by myself on vacation to KY and WV and represented my branch of the family tree. I started a journey of introspection and am learning more about myself each day. And most importantly, despite the setbacks of 2009, I never gave up on the commitment I made to myself that Valentine's Day to become a healthier and happier person...

I want to thank you all for being my cheerleaders and champions. I look forward to updating you on all of my successes in the next year.

May 2010 bring you all much joy, love, health and prosperity.

Happy New Year!!!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

2009-12-18T08:02:00.003-05:00

Finished with my Christmas shopping and Christmas cards. I must say that it's a nice feeling. I still have the wrapping and the traveling to do and the 5 more days of work (afternoon shifts, my favorite!) to get through, but I think I'm almost ready.

The one thing I do need to work on is my game plan to avoid the stress and anxiety that comes with the holiday season. I intend to bring my sneakers and workout clothes so that I can hit the road for some exercise which should help some. But I need to figure out how to handle the rest of the stress that comes with the holidays. After all, I'm a nervous person by nature...

Anyway, I welcome your thoughts...

Happy Friday!

p.s. - I know that the song title is "It's beginning to LOOK a lot like Christmas", however I'm hoping that by changing it in my blog post I can ward off the snow that is supposed to fall this weekend... I am NOT ready for another snowstorm :(

Interactive Blog Post

2009-12-12T07:50:00.005-05:00

Hi guys -

It's a very chilly December morning and I am getting ready to go for a walk/run. Naturally, I am procrastinating like a champ! I know that once I get started, I should be good to go. That, and if it is too bearable, I'm always less than a half mile from my house (I run up and down the neighborhood streets).

Now that I have my ipod, I love to run with the rocker girls of the 80s-90s -- you know... Pat Benatar, Patty Smyth and Scandal, Heart, Lita Ford... There's nothing like hearing "Hit me with your best shot" or "The Warrior" to make one feel empowered.

But what about you... what music keeps you going through your workouts? I imagine that eventually I'm going to want a "plan B playlist" and maybe you'll inspire me.

Anyway, have a wonderful weekend!

With a little help from my friends...

2009-12-09T11:34:00.002-05:00

Good morning! The sun managed to come out today (after the deluge last night) and I got to hit the road! I'm back to walk/running... (maybe it will help me to lose the 20lbs I said I wanted to lose before I tried running again). Anyway, it felt good! I did 5 miles in about 75 min... not too bad!

So the friend I managed to inspire while slacking on my own journey (see previous post) is helping me get back on track... We've been checking in on each other daily about going to the gym and our food choices. I am so grateful to have wonderful friends like you all - who give me encouragement when I need it most. Thank you so much for being a part of my journey.

Happy Wednesday!

Nothing like a little guilt...

2009-12-03T18:09:00.002-05:00

So, yesterday I received this text from a good friend of mine:

"Hey, guess what? I worked out this am at 5!!! I've never done that before. Thank you for inspiring me, Laura"

While I was proud of my friend for making healthy changes, I couldn't help but feel a little bit bad for myself. It must be that Catholic guilt... it's hard to hear that I am inspiring others when I am barely doing what I need to do myself.

I guess there is only one way to fix that, now is there???

Happy Thursday!

Catching up...

2009-12-02T10:30:00.003-05:00

Hey guys!

Can you believe December is here? Sometimes I just don't know where the time goes...

I haven't been the best about blogging lately so I figured I should check in.

I had a lovely Thanksgiving with my family. My parents, sister and niece Jasmine came up to Richmond to celebrate the holiday with me. It was such a delight! Jasmine is getting so big and she is quite the character... but be careful what you say, because this one hasn't developed a filter yet (she told my neighbor's daughter that her room was a mess and that she needed to clean it up... yikes).

Holidays are great, but for me the indulgences of the celebrations tend to linger too long. It's probably a product of not being in the habit of being good right now. Luckily for me, it takes 2-3 weeks to make a behavior a habit, so there is hope I won't repeat this pattern for Christmas. I think I will be well-prepared because I'm starting today!

Training with Sean is back to running smoothly... since I can't get ready there for the time being and I don't do very well working out at night, it was a little rocky for a while there. Thankfully, Sean is working with me on this -- which means on the days that I have to be at work at 7am, we work out at 5am. This gives me enough time to go back home and get ready. I really appreciate his flexibility with this, because I am so not ready to go it alone yet...

So, the 1st of December was the first day to sign up for the Monument Ave 10K. I decided that this is going to be my next race. It will be on March 27, so that gives me PLENTY of time to start training... I want to be able to run most if not all of this one!

Anyway, I think that's all I have to report... have a wonderful day!

Happy Tuesday!

Coming clean

2009-11-24T15:08:00.002-05:00

I think it is a well-known fact that doctors make the worst patients... We know too much and sometimes we think we know what's best. In addition to this, there is an anxiety or fear of bad outcomes that can manifest itself as denial.

I had a doctor's appointment today. It has been about a year and a half since I had been and because my weight has been going in the wrong direction, I didn't want to have to tell my doctor what a bad job I've been doing with consistently taking my meds or following my diet. In fact, my PCP tricked me into coming in... she asked what I was doing on the 24th and when I said that I had nothing going on, she made me an appointment.

I must say that it is a relief to actually have gone... My blood pressure (off my medication) was a little bit high (142/72) which means that it is not time to come off the losartan. I still need to do labs (since it was an afternoon appointment I wasn't fasting). Actually, the labs kind of scare me a little - I'm really afraid of getting diabetes. She offered to check my A1c, which I declined. Maybe if I had been good about my diet over the past 3 months, but since I haven't I'm afraid of what the results may be. For now, a fasting glucose will be sufficient. I'll let you know how things turn out once I get them done.

But I feel great... I'm motivated to keep going.

Happy Tuesday!

Coulda, woulda, shoulda...

2009-11-21T11:10:00.006-05:00

***Warning, this post is kind of negative... I'm hoping I'll turn it around by the end.***

A year ago yesterday, I had my last good assessment. I was down 97# and oh so hopeful. I couldn't wait to reach the "hundred pounds gone" mark and knew that it was in reach. I also had daydreams about when I would finally be a healthy weight, and I was confident I would get there by my goal of my 35th year... I felt invincible.

A year later and 35 lbs (in the wrong direction) later, I have to ask myself -- WTF??? What happened? How could I do this to myself again??? If only I had a chronicle of my journey... Oh yeah, I do... I decided to read my own blog to see if I can figure out what went wrong.

I was a rockstar for the first 9 months. I journaled almost everyday, stuck to the rules without straying (except cheat days), and was faithful to my cardio. I vaguely remember the sense of pride I felt when I got in an extra workout in or when I would refuse dessert at work or food brought in by a drug rep because it didn't follow the rules.

And then I got a little arrogant... I made that goal of reaching 100# by Thanksgiving (something that was too aggressive to safely do). I became obsessive and super-strict in a way that was not only not maintainable, but I think caused me to rebel a little.

Once I stopped working towards that assessment, I started to give myself slack and started to gain. Well, that was a slippery slope. I made attempts many times to get "back on track" (yeah, I lost count of how many times I have used that expression here). I would give myself a pep talk and be all optimistic only to fail and get discouraged only a few days later. I have still to this day not been able to get back to even writing things down consistently (which is the first step).

I've tried a ton of other things to help me -- different journals, seeing a nutritionist, strategizing with Sean, making goals for races, I even had a life coach -- but none of this stuff has been able to fix whatever broke in me last year. I'm so frustrated because I know I can do this (I was doing it and it worked), so what is stopping me now??? Most of all, I am so angry at myself for throwing away all of that hard work!!! I'm really afraid that if I can't fix the problem, I am going to be back where I was before I started this journey or even heavier. This would be unforgivable!

So, where to go from here???

I'm not giving up. I can't do that to myself. If it means starting over everyday, then that is what I have to do. If you have any ideas of something I can do to regain that drive I once had, I'm open to suggestions...

Sorry to be a downer...

Happy Saturday!

Back to work...

2009-11-16T13:34:00.004-05:00

So, my new found enthusiasm continues (yes, I realize it has only been 2 days). Yesterday I was super sore. My shins really hurt and it was difficult to walk around the hospital. But after a good stretching session this morning, I'm back! I did an upper body workout with Sean and then took a walk around the Fan - when I drove it, it measured 2.5 miles.

Tackling my nutrition is going to be more of a challenge... I've been pretty far gone for a while so I guess the good news is that even small changes will be a step in the right direction. I'm starting first with journaling and eating 5-10 servings of vegetables and fruits a day. After I master those, I'll add a new rule back in. I'm just not ready to give up the coffee and the diet cokes that I added back to my life at some point over the past year... I know that they need to go (or at least be drastically cut back), but there are other things that I can work on first.

Who knows? Maybe I'll be back to losing in no time...

Happy Monday!

Race Day

2009-11-15T09:37:00.003-05:00

So as I alluded to in the past couple of posts (and then hinted at by my long silence), things have been rough the last few weeks. My training fizzled -- and I was seriously considering backing out of the 8K. After much encouragement from my friends, I decided to go for it. That is, after Megha made me promise that we would walk the whole thing.

It was a lot of fun... Another friend, Aimee, from work joined us too. We talked the whole way and it was over before we knew it. We were soaked and freezing, but proud of what we accomplished. We even got medals of participation! Here we are at the finish line...

The evening after the race, I went to my neighbors' house for a "Runner's Victory and Remorse" party. You see, my neighbor Jack rocked the marathon this year! This is even more amazing considering that 13 months ago, while training for the 2008 marathon, he had a heart attack! What an inspiration, right???

There was an surprising side effect of doing the race yesterday (the soreness this morning was expected... I think it was the push I needed to get back on track. I woke up this morning and started my food journal again. I looked up the date of the Monument Ave 10K and am seriously considering doing that one, too. I'd like to lose 20 lbs before I start running again, but I learned that there is value and a sense of accomplishment that goes along with walking the race as well... who knew???

It's a wonderfully sunny day here in Richmond, VA... something that is a welcomed change after our very rainy week... it's enough to lift anyone's spirits!

Happy Sunday!

Gratitude challenge...

2009-11-05T11:34:00.002-05:00

Still trying to get out of my funk, but I'm getting a little better each day. One of my friends from college and now Facebook gave me a great idea. Until Thanksgiving, she is posting a status reflecting something for which she is grateful. I've decided to steal her idea and challenge myself to do it, too!

I'm going to will myself to be happy, if it's the last thing I do!

Have a wonderful day!

Nothing positive to say...

2009-11-04T19:27:00.002-05:00

I've been struggling... Maybe it's the change of the weather and maybe I'm hosting my very own pity party, but I've been pretty down lately. Wards left me exhausted, both physically and emotionally. I'm so tired and I'm tired of my crappy, boring life. I really need a change!

I haven't been running and I've barely doing the other things I need to do. Needless to say, I won't be running any races... I may walk it. We'll see...

Hoping this funk will lift soon!

Happy Wednesday!

False start...

2009-10-07T08:43:00.002-04:00

So much for getting back on schedule with the running... I think the big problem is I've been thinking that I would do it in the evenings. (I should know better). I really need to add it to my morning routine (and then if I do it again in the evening, then even better!).

But, since after today I am off for the next 11 days, I really have no excuse not to get it done... I don't want to let down those who have agreed to do this race with me (and I don't want them to back out either!!)

Happy Humpday!
LP

More updates...

2009-10-05T19:14:00.002-04:00

It's been a little rough of a week with the hip hurting and trying to find a time to run...

9/30 - running day: I only managed to do 15 minutes of run/walking before the hip acted up. I finished off the workout with half an hour of walking. 45 minutes in total covering 3.1 miles.

10/1 - non-running day: 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and a lower body workout with Sean

10/2 - just a full-body workout with Sean

10/5 - upper body workout with Sean

... I decided to rest the hip for a little while and not run over the weekend. Thankfully, today I am pain-free! The running starts again tomorrow. Of course, I need to learn how to stretch properly so that I don't hurt myself again...

So I found out my friend who was planning to run the race with me has to work... boo!!!

BUT, I have 2 friends who have agreed to run it with me... yay!!!

Happy Monday!

Wow, that stinks...

2009-09-29T20:27:00.002-04:00

So, apparently in April I was able to jog for 5 minutes straight... I even blogged about it. Wow, what a huge setback that I'm having difficulty running 2 minutes...

Oh well, I guess I have to build back up to it again!

Training update...

2009-09-29T12:45:00.002-04:00

Plugging along...

9/27 - rest day. no cardio

9/28 - running day: run/walking around the neighborhood... mainly 90 sec jogging with 60 sec walking. I started out attempting 2 minutes of jogging, but I lasted 2 cycles. I only lasted 18 minutes (see the obstacle below...) Finished up the 40 minutes with walking. Lower body workout with Sean.

9/29 - non-running day: walked 1.2 miles (3 times around the block) and then an upper body workout with Sean.

Another obstacle:

I've been having right hip pain after running. Feels like it's muscular since I have full ROM of my hip... I'm hoping that it's just my body adjusting to new exercise. I did have to stop running short yesterday, and today I took it easy with the cardio today. If it doesn't get better soon, I'll have to make an appointment with a doctor.

Added benefits of the running?

- I'm getting back on track with nutrition. I haven't noticed any changes in the scale, but I'm not focused on it.

- my time running is great time to reflect on whatever is bothering me... I've found it to be a great stress reliever.

Happy Tuesday!

"Running" update

2009-09-26T10:07:00.003-04:00

Until I start a spreadsheet of my own, I'm going to put down my training here:

9/25 - non-running day: 30 min HIT training on the elliptical - level 5

9/26 - "running" day: 20 minutes alternating between 90 seconds of "running" and 60 seconds of walking. Finished off with another 20 minutes of walking. (did 1.6 miles in the initial 20 minutes and 2.7 miles overall).

- I think today's workout needs to be repeated before going on to the next level... I was doing fairly well until about 15 minutes in and then I couldn't maintain the "running" for 90 seconds. Definitely don't think I'm ready to conquer 2 minutes of running in a row.

Obstacles: this darn viral URI... I could swear I heard myself wheezing at about 18 minutes in. :( Hopefully, this cold will leave me soon.

You may have noticed my quotations whenever I use the word run... I assume they'll fall off when my confidence is higher, or when I believe what my efforts actually fit the definition of running...

Have a good one!

The balancing act...

2009-09-26T08:40:00.003-04:00

Achieving balance is something that is always a challenge for me. I often have an "all-or-nothing mentality" about things and so I'm either super-strict or super-slack with no middle ground. Add it to the list of the million things I am working on improving...

HOWEVER, I think I did a good job avoiding that wrong thinking over the past few days. While I have cheated each day of my birthday celebration (which this year happened to last 2 days), I have done a good job of getting right back on track. And even on those days, I made really healthy choices with the exception of my cheat dinners (eggplant parm and birthday cake on the 24th and a restaurant spinach salad w/chicken and some of my friend's creme brulee cheesecake on the 25th). Most importantly, today I got up and instead of beating myself up for cheating twice, I had my healthy breakfast and am going for my "run" now...

Who knows... maybe I'm growing up ;-)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Day 3 -- things are a little better :)

2009-09-24T12:08:00.002-04:00

Today I hit the road... I walk/ran around the neighborhood - running 60 seconds (no handrails to hold onto this time) alternating with walking for 90 seconds for 20 minutes and then afterward I walked for another 20 minutes. I covered 2.7 miles in 40 minutes... it's a starting point, right?

Two obstacles I've discovered while running on the streets:
(1) DOGS -- Not the biggest pet person, but dogs barking at me (and potentially chasing after me) scares me quite a bit. I encountered 1 barking dog today (he didn't chase), but it put me on heightened alert for the rest of my workout.
(2) I got a BLISTER :( -- I went to get fitted for running shoes, but when I got home, I noticed that my new ones were remarkably similar to my current sneaks (which quite frankly aren't that old). I decided to bring them back and talk to the salesperson, but in the meantime I would use my old sneakers. They have never given me any problems before, but today I got a blister... OUCH! Guess I'll have to go out and buy some band-aids, because a little blister isn't going to stop me now.

I'm pretty excited about my training for this race (even if I do walk most of it). It's nice to have a new goal to focus on rather than numbers on a scale... who knows, maybe this is just the thing to get me back to making healthy choices all around.

Starting my 35th year on the right track...

LP

Day 1 -- how many calories are in humble pie???

2009-09-22T16:08:00.002-04:00

... because I just had a big piece of it!

I started training for the 8K. My neighbors are runners and they are helping me devise a plan to prepare -- I am to start with 20 minutes of alternating between walking for 90 seconds and running for 60. I'm supposed to "run" 3 times a week and only one of these can be on the treadmill... doesn't sound so bad, right?

Wrong! Even though I have been doing cardio consistently for 18 months, I could barely get through this workout. I started out with my treadmill workout - walking at 4.0 and running at 5.0. I found that I can only run for 45 seconds before I have to hold on to the handrails. My initial plan was to continue to walk for another 10 minutes after, but luckily Sean was ready for me so I had to go train.

I know that I am still sick and that may have made it a little harder, but I really thought I would be better able to handle the workout... and this is just day 1!

But I'm going to stick with it and I look forward to updating you on my progress...

Happy Tuesday!
LP

Time for my annual freak-out...

2009-09-19T19:39:00.003-04:00

So, it's that time of year again... soon to be another year older. And while there are plenty of things that I have accomplished, I find myself thinking about all of the things that have just not happened for me. My life at 33 is nothing like I imagined it would be, and I can't help but be a little sad...

So if you see me this week and I'm a little bit off, you now know why...

Have a wonderful week!
LP

Just what the doctor ordered...

2009-09-13T20:24:00.002-04:00

I had originally asked for last week off for our Girl's Weekend Extravaganza Part Deux (a bunch of high school friends got together in CT last September) that was supposed to be a reunion in San Diego. Unfortunately, since most of the girls are back in school our trip was postponed... bummer! I decided that I needed a break and I was determined to make the most of the time off. I called my friend Andrea and invited myself to Tampa...

What a welcomed break -- it was great not to think about work or weight loss or my imbalanced life for a while. I finally met Andrea's S.O. and her crazy (but cute) doggies. And while our beach trip was rained out (well, we managed to go to the bar on the beach and have a drink), I had a lot of fun relaxing, shopping, and hanging out with Andrea and some of her Tampa friends.

I think the trip renewed my spirit... I feel ready to take it all on again. And while I'm cautious about being overly optimistic (only to let myself down again), I'm ready to get back to business. I stocked my fridge with healthy food and have packed my bags for my early am workout.

I can do this...I know I can. It's just going to take time & patience.

Have a great week!
LP

Crazy? I was crazy once...

2009-09-09T10:50:00.002-04:00

My friends are beginning to wear me down. They want me to do a race -- an 8K to be exact. This idea seems absolutely CrAzY to me as I am NOT a runner! I don't even think I have the stamina to walk the entire thing... it's just under 5 miles!!!

I think I may try to get ready for the race and when it comes closer to the day I will make a decision... But the fact that I'm even considering this makes me question my sanity.

More to come on this topic later...

Happpy Wednesday!
LP

Yes, I'm avoiding you...

2009-09-07T22:20:00.003-04:00

So, I've been doing a crappy job staying on track... I was on service last week and so blatantly ignored any sort of plan. I even had a bagel when I brought them for my team! The Laura from last year would NEVER EVER had done that (well, unless it was a cheat day)...

I really wish I knew what it's going to take to get back on track. I feel all of the hard work I started 18 months ago just slipping away... what is wrong with me?

So, yes... if I don't have anything nice to say it's better not to say anything at all...

Happy Monday!
LP

My visit with the nutritionist (take 2)...

2009-08-28T18:51:00.005-04:00

Sorry for the delay. I had computer issues.

So I met with the nutritionist Monday. I think it went pretty well...

First she complimented me on my current eating habits and my progress thus far. She said that she doesn't usually have someone come to her eating the way I do, so it wasn't as easy to make changes. But she came up with some good suggestions regardless.

1) Eat fewer calories. I don't count calories, but I did bring her my food logs. She calculated my current calorie intake in a day is around 1800-1900 calories. She said while this is probably good for maintenance, I should really be consuming about 1500-1600. I'm not really sure how to reach this without counting calories (which she said was something that she didn't want me to do and that counting calories -- that was her job). So I guess I will plug my journals into www.sparkpeople.com every now and again to make sure I'm on track.
2) Eat less protein. She said that I should be eating about 1-2 grams/kg adjusted body weight a day. That comes out to 70-140 grams of protein. Adjusted body weight is a nutritionist's calculation based on current weight and ideal body weight. This is close to my personal goal weight, about 140-145 lbs. Incidentally, my ideal body weight is calculated to be 118 lbs! I don't think that there is any way that I could get to that weight (or that I would even want to...). Sean totally disagrees on this point.
3) Choose healthy snacks. Yogurt, South Beach bars, nuts... I think I do a pretty good job on this one already. But she doesn't like dried fruits like craisins... says they're just sugar! She wants me to choose whole fruits instead.
4) Choose the right carbs. Again, I'm doing a good job here. She applauded me on choosing whole grain carbohydrates.
5) Look into a meal replacement shake with whey protein isolate. She liked the fact that I use a meal replacement shake, but she thinks I should look for a different one. She doesn't like that the advocare shakes are made with whey protein concentrate. She wants me to look into Unjury shakes... anyone heard of them??? Anyway, I have a lot of advocare products to use first before I can buy some new ones.
6) Make an appointment to see my doctor and have some labs checked. I'm due for a checkup. Hopefully my schedule and my PCP's schedule will come together soon.
7) Drink my water and take a vitamin. I think she has to say that, right???
8) Find ways to manage my stress (yeah, right). I admitted to her that I have a tendency to eat when I am stressed or bored. She told me to find different activities to manage these feelings. I know she's right, but I think this falls in the "easier-said-than-done" category... I'll give it a try!

So, there you go. I've done pretty well with this week, and I think I may have lost a pound or two. My next assessment is going to be in October so that I have some time to make these changes. I'm going to work hard, evaluate and make adjustments if need be. Wish me luck!

Have a great weekend!
LP

Never say never...

2009-08-23T18:41:00.012-04:00

I think everyone knows that I don't cook. When I started working with Sean, it was enough of a struggle to get me to grill chicken on the George Foreman and microwave veggies...

One of my good friends, Stef, has a healthy living blog -- in it she features many healthy and yummy-looking recipes. In fact, cooking is one of her hobbies... something I admire and envy but never so much that I felt inspired to whip out my own pots and pans... until now!

Are you sitting for this? I cooked! A few days ago, Stef showcased this chicken recipe with artichokes and mushrooms... It looked delicious and the recipe seemed easy enough (apart from the emergency "how much minced garlic is equivalent to a clove?" call). It was quite tasty and it's good for me. I served mine with brown rice, but it could easily be served over pasta or stand alone (I think that's how I'll have it tomorrow for lunch!).

I even took pictures!

I dedicate this post to Stef, who inspired me to branch out and enjoy a healthy new recipe, and to Nikki, my friend from work who always encourages my food and fitness adventures. I'd share with her tomorrow, except that I know she doesn't like vegetables, and I'm pretty sure that includes mushrooms and artichokes...

Happy Sunday!

ps -- here's the recipe!

http://lowfatcooking.about.com/od/poultrydishes/r/chickartichoke.htm

Nutrition woes...

2009-08-21T08:47:00.003-04:00

So, I've decided it's time to go and see an nutritionist. I have Sean's food rules and while they served me well initially, I think it may be time for something a little different. In all honesty, I think that when the rules became stricter (and anti-carb) it became harder and harder for me to follow them and so I rebelled. I'm back to the basic rules right now, but I figured it can't hurt to get an expert opinion.

However, based on the difficulties I had making an appointment, you would think I just said that I've decided to take on an experimental drug treatment or radical surgery. I called the nutrition clinic (bc all of the RD's at MCV recommended this one woman) and I was told that there were available appointments either Monday or the end of October. Being that I'm flirting with the number I promised myself I'd never reach again, I chose the former. Then I was told that I would need a referral from my doctor. I thought this is odd as I have a PPO and don't need referrals for my insurance. Well, I called the doctor's office and of course my PCP is on vacation. Her nurse called me and confirmed my insurance doesn't need referrals and so she was unclear on how she can assist me. When I called the nutrition clinic for clarification, they told me that they needed an MD referral so that they could have my height and weight and a diagnosis. I told her I would gladly provide that information, that being morbidly obese I clearly qualify to see a nutritionist, and that I plan on seeing one even if my insurance won't cover it. She then told me it would be against the law (?!?) for them to see me without being under the care of a doctor... who knew you needed an MD's order to learn more about healthy eating???

When I called my PCP's office back and explained the ricidulous-ness of it all, the nurse said she would try to get another doc to sign it (although just about everyone is on vacay in that office right now... Note to self: don't get sick!). I told her I would see if one of my friends from work would be willing to refer me. Lucky for me, one of the docs in the office overheard this conversation and said she would gladly do the paperwork...

So I guess all's well that ends well, but seriously...

Happy Friday!

LP

This post is for the girls...

2009-08-20T14:27:00.003-04:00

Anyone have a suggestion for a good and supportive sportsbra? While most of the time mine does the trick, I'm finding I need a little more help when I do spinning class.

Any suggestions?

30 second rant...

2009-08-19T09:05:00.003-04:00

I should be working, but I need to a moment to complain (warning, it's a little gross)...

Let me paint the picture. I went to the gym at 4:45 this am to get my cardio in... Naturally, as one might expect, the gym is pretty empty at that time -- there are a plethora of cardio machines of all types available. So, I got on an elliptical machine and got to work...

Twenty minutes in (gym still empty) this guy decides to use the elliptical machine right near mine. No big deal, until he was snorting his snot! It seriously made me gag! I had to move because I couldn't take it...

... but seriously, WTF?

Happy Wednesday!
LP

Getting back on track (again)...

2009-08-17T11:22:00.008-04:00

And I'm back! I've decided that optimism is the only way out of this rut...

As painful as it was, I made it to the gym this am to do my extra cardio. I started a new journal. I figure a fresh, new journal is a fresh, new start. I'm equipped with my older, simpler rules and motivated by the threat of having to get back some of my old clothes (Lord knows I certainly don't want to waste any money on clothes that are bigger!)

I received a very pleasant surprise today that has boosted my happy thoughts and encouraged attitude. I recently read The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl by Shauna Reid. I loved this book! In it Shauna so eloquently describes her (and my) challenges and struggles in a way that I never could. It left me inspired and motivated all over again! Well, a little while ago I sent her an email to tell her how amazing I think she is and to thank her for sharing her story. I told her a little about my journey thus far and gave her the address to my blog. I never expected that I would hear from her but today I received an email from Dietgirl herself! Not only that, but I could tell from her reply that she in fact took a peek at my little blog... it made my Monday morning and I proudly showed it one of my friends at work (who loyally reads my ramblings and offers words of encouragement)...

Just the boost I need to get back on track!

Happy Monday!
LP

My own worst enemy...

2009-08-12T08:47:00.002-04:00

Aarrgghh... I'm up to some old (self-destructive) tricks.

It appears that I have been sabotaging myself. And I am getting dangerously close to a number that I promised myself I would never reach again. I don't know what is going on or why I am doing this to myself... Don't I want to be healthy and happy?

So, I'm getting back to basics. I'm going back to the rules that I was given when I first started with Sean. No more worrying about protein to carb ratios... at least not for a while. Maybe if I stop trying to be perfect I won't get discouraged and stop trying altogether.

For now I'm gonna keep on plugging away...

Happy Wednesday!
LP

Road trip!

2009-07-31T14:43:00.002-04:00

Hello friends!

So, I'm off on an adventure... Going to a family function tomorrow near Charleston, WV (which is like 5.25 hrs away) and I decided, what the heck, let's travel the extra 2.5 hrs to visit friends in Lexington, KY. While it's a good idea in theory and I've definitely driven that long up the I-95 corridor, I forgot how exhausting such a trip is. Some may even say it's a little crazy (I don't have that long off from work), but nevertheless I am here. And it was a treat to see Megha and Sameer last night, even if it was through very tired eyes.

I didn't do the best job planning for the weekend as far as my fitness and nutrition go. I think I am going with the "it's vacation" mentality. To me this means, lighten up about my rules and just make wise decisions. Don't go overboard, but don't deprive myself either... And DRINK WATER!!!

The goal of the weekend is to have fun and not do too much damage in the process...

Happy Friday!
LP

Proper Planning Prevents P*ss-poor Performance

2009-07-19T08:36:00.002-04:00

I was just reading my last post... I may have spoken too soon! While I was doing really well the first half of Sean's vacation, the stress of work got to me. Too many late nights prevented me from planning out my meals for the day. And I convinced myself that it was okay to forgo the gym in the name of getting some sleep.

Well, Sean came back Monday and I got back into the swing of things. I did a really good job with working out. I managed to get to the gym before FT to do some extra cardio each day. However, the food tracking is quite another story... I start off each day strong with writing down my nutrition but then I fizzle out. I think I really need to plan out the entire day. Maybe if I write down everything the night before it will go better.

It is so important for me to get on top of this jounaling... when I don't do it correctly I fall victim to stress eating, which I'm beginning to think had more to do with me getting to be the size I was than I originally thought...

And according to GI Joe, "Knowing is half the battle", right???

Happy Sunday!
LP

Quick update...

2009-07-08T21:29:00.004-04:00

What a week it has been! Work has been crazy this week (it's only day 3 and it feels like day 6) and I am exhausted... 2 more days to this stretch and then a couple of days off. :)
.............................................................................

I wanted to check in and let you all know how things have been going on my own. I must say, I miss Sean and can't wait to start my workouts back up again. But I have been doing a fairly good job with those goals I've set:

- Journal everything I eat everyday: Done. I have been not only writing what I've eaten but the nutrition info as well. If I ever make it to that nutritionist (that I really need to find), I'll have some good starting info...
- Allow myself to have 1 cheat day: Sunday I had a cheat dessert. I was actually really good most of the day, but then allowed myself to indulge in some pistachio ice cream. And the nice part of it was it was guilt-free...
- Exercise 5-6 times: Well, I was a slug this weekend, but I've been getting up at 4:30 so that I can get to the gym and come home to get ready for work. I'm contemplating not getting up tomorrow (I finished work at 9pm tonight), but if I sleep in, I will try to do something that evening...
- Drink my water everyday: Well, if crystal light counts, then I have been doing this too. I have cut the diet cokes out all together and I've seriously cut back on the coffee, too.

Tonight was not the best of nights... I think it was a combination of not eating enough of an afternoon snack and being super-stressed out, but I was ridiculously hungry and ate too much. Luckily, nothing in the house is considered a "cheat" food but I don't think I needed as much "dinner" as I had... oh well, live and learn!

Happy HumpDay!!!
LP

Lazy weekend...

2009-07-05T21:22:00.003-04:00

I did absolutely nothing this weekend... I feel like a slug!
I guess it was needed, since I worked 17 of the 19 days before it.
I watched movies and barely kept up with my chores... I still have a ton of laundry to do.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day... I'm working all week and so hopefully I will be productive.
Gonna go plan my meals for tomorrow so I'll stay on track!

Have a great night!
LP

When the cat's away... the mice will work harder???

2009-07-03T09:09:00.004-04:00

So Sean is on vacation this week, which means I am on my own with the fitness and nutrition. It's going to be challenging for me since I am just getting myself back on track. And it probably isn't a good sign that it's the first day and I decided not to go do cardio this am...

Here are my goals for the "week" (7/3 - 7/12):
- Journal everything I eat everyday
- Allow myself to have 1 cheat day
- Exercise 5-6 times. I'm going to take the week off from weight training, so this will mostly be cardio.
- Drink my water everyday.

I think if I do all of these things, I should be in good shape when Sean comes back...

Happy 4th everybody!
LP

A promise to myself...

2009-07-01T08:17:00.003-04:00

A few Christmases back I received this very pretty sapphire necklace, ring and earring set. I really liked it, but of course I couldn't wear the ring because I needed to get it re-sized (something I never got around to doing). I came across the ring the other day and tried it on... and wouldn't you know, it fits!

I've decided that I'm going to use this ring to help me on my journey (no, not in a dorky, "this ring has magical powers" kind of way). I'm using the ring to symbolize my goals -- both in terms of how far I've come as well as how I've promised myself to keep going and never give up... This way, I can look down and remind myself of what I'm doing when facing temptation and remember that whatever indulgence is calling my name is just not worth what I am working so hard to accomplish.

I haven't quite decided what to do about work since they discourage ring wearing in their "bare below the elbows" campaign to prevent the spread of infection -- maybe I can use the necklace in the same manner??

So far, doing a good job of getting back on track. I bought a real diet journal, so for now I'm tracking nutritional values as well as what I'm eating. I'm trying to see if I can identify patterns so I can fix them. Sleep (or rather difficulty sleeping) continues to be an issue -- I keep waking up in the middle of the night (mainly by aches and pains) or by not being able to breathe because of congestion. Grr...

Happy Wednesday!
LP

sigh

2009-06-29T13:04:00.003-04:00

What can I say? Once again I have fallen way off track. I haven't blogged in ages! I hope everyone hasn't given up on checking in with me... And what's worse than being the absentee blogger, I have been (pardon my language) half-assing my efforts as far as weight loss and fitness go. I have been doing the minimum for too long, and it is definitely showing...

A year ago, I felt unstoppable. I was perfect when it came to my fitness and nutrition. If it wasn't a cheat day and it didn't follow the rules -- I DIDN'T EAT IT! I made sure I got my extra cardio in and never made an excuse to miss it. Those days are long gone (about 6 months long to be exact) and I really need to figure out how to get back to that time and mindset...

Problem is, I am really struggling about how to do this. If anyone is still reading and has any great ideas, I'd love to hear them.

For now, I am going to continue to take it one day at a time... I'll start over every day if I have to! I've got such a long way to go -- I'm not ready to stop now...

Happy Monday!
LP

untitled...

2009-06-09T12:24:00.005-04:00

So, I've fallen behind on my blogging again. Not too much going on as far as the fitness endeavors go. I had a busy few days at work last week and come Monday, I start another marathon stretch of 14 days in a row. So, I've been spending my days off relaxing and enjoying the downtime...

I finally bought patio furniture so that I can spend time on my deck. I can't wait to have friends over or to spend some quiet evenings relaxing while reading a good book. I even planned a dinner with my neighbors, who ALWAYS think to invite me over but I always have to decline because of work. Should be a lot of fun!

Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying these sunny bright days... stay cool, though!

LP

Turning the corner...

2009-05-30T22:28:00.003-04:00

Well, I think I did it! I'm hoping that I've broken the plateau. Didn't lose as much as I had hoped, but at least I had a loss -- 6 lbs, which makes the my current total 85 lbs... I'll take it!!

It was nice to see the number go down again... can't wait for it to happen again in 6 weeks.

Have a good night!
LP

Soliciting advice from the peanut gallery...

2009-05-27T12:06:00.004-04:00

So here's the deal... Saturday is supposed to be my next fitness assessment. I've been working really hard on staying on track with the fitness and nutrition. And even though I feel great and am really proud of how hard I'm working, I'm fairly certain that I am not yet going to reach my weight loss goal that I had set for myself...

My question is... should I postpone my assessment until I've lost some more or should I go through with it and just take it as a piece of data on the journey? I'm afraid that getting bad results is going to be very discouraging, but isn't just delaying the assessment another excuse? And if I do postpone it, what happens if I'm no further along in a couple of weeks???

So what do you think?
LP

I've got a new attitude...

2009-05-26T19:36:00.004-04:00

A lot of people have been noticing some changes in me. People say that I sound different -- more relaxed, happier, ?younger (I still don't really get that one). As I mentioned earlier I've been working on having a positive attitude. And while I haven't quite mastered it, maybe it's working more than I realize...

I still have some slip-ups. This weekend was challenging and pretty stressful... at times the stress definitely got to the best of me. But at least I'm beginning to recognize when I'm getting overwhelmed and I can take steps to come back to normal. And every now and again, when it comes to my attitude, I'm finding that if I "fake it 'til I make it", I eventually actually become less stressed. Who knew?

Unfortunately this is very short break from work (only 2 days)... but I'm making the most of it so I can go back and tackle whatever it brings my way.

My new favorite TV show...

2009-05-20T18:06:00.006-04:00

Anyone who knows me (or has been reading this blog for a while) is going to find this completely ridiculous, but my new fave TV show is "Cook Yourself Thin"(5pm and 5:30pm on Lifetime). I know what you are thinking... but Laura, you don't cook! I know, I know. But this show may be just the thing to actually get me use more than the George Foreman and microwave in the kitchen!

Each show features a woman who wants to lose weight but is eating yummy and high-calorie foods. The 3 stars of the show (Allison, Candace and Harry) show them tasty versions of their favorites that have half the calories! And then they leave the women to their own devices armed with a "Cook Yourself Thin" cookbook and some healthy ingredients. They come back to visit 6 weeks later to check in and celebrate that the woman has dropped a dress size (or two) and are eating and cooking healthier foods.

I'll let you know when I actually make something and how it turns out...

Have a great night!
LP

Ouch!

2009-05-19T21:17:00.005-04:00

Call me a glutton for punishment, but I took another spinning class. I didn't actually get a bruise this time which was good. It didn't hurt quite as much as the first time but it still hurts a little to sit...

Maybe third time's a charm?

Have a good night!
LP

A few of my favorite quotes...

2009-05-18T15:44:00.005-04:00

In the spirit of positive thinking, I figured I'd share some of my favorite inspirational quotes. I have a dry erase board up in my room that has some of these on it, but I've run out of room and so now I've added post-it notes to its perimeter. I'm always looking for new ones, so feel free to share! I've given credit if I know who said it first and apologize to those whom I don't know...

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. - John Maxwell.

Don't sacrifice your future for a momentary pleasure.

Rather than aiming for being perfect, just aim to be little bit better today than you were yesterday.

Be the change you want to see... -Gandhi

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. - Anatole France

I have more but I think this is a pretty good start...

Happy Monday!
LP

The Power of Positive Thinking...

2009-05-17T12:41:00.003-04:00

Hey all! I hope everyone is having a wonderfully relaxing weekend...

I wanted to tell you about something that I'm working on. I believe that it will be the key to reaching my goals. I'm getting rid of the negative thinking. No more excuses... No more letting myself off easy when things get difficult. I'm stronger and better than that. I owe myself more.

Henry Ford put it best when he said, "Think you can or think you can't. Either way, you will be right!" Today I'm deleting the word "can't" from my vocabulary.

Let's just see how much positive thinking can do!

Have a wonderful week!
LP

The Next Best Thing...

2009-05-13T10:37:00.004-04:00

This morning was a struggle. I couldn't get myself out of bed to save my life! (probably because I stayed up late to watch The Biggest Loser Finale). I have to work this afternoon/evening, and I knew as much as I didn't want to do it, I had to get some exercise in...

So, I did the Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga (which was available on OnDemand). This was my first yoga experience. It was challenging, but definitely do-able. I got a good workout in and never had to leave my house (although I did eventually have to get out of the bed).

I guess the moral of the story is (once again) the importance of getting rid of the all-or-nothing mentality. If all I did was beat myself up for not making it to the gym, I would have missed out on an opportunity to try something new (and burn some calories in the process!).

Striving for excellence, not perfection...

Happy Humpday!
LP

Not your momma's exercise video...

2009-05-12T10:02:00.004-04:00

I'm getting bored with the cardio again. The elliptical machine and the treadmill provide me with good workouts, but I'm finding the need to expand my horizons...

Sean recently brought in a DVD player and Wii into the gym. Usually he has on Rocky videos as a source of inspiration, but tucked in the corner was his collection of P90X workout DVDs. I decided to give them a try...

... and I'm glad I did! It's been a welcome diversion. So far I've tried the KempoX (which is a kickboxing/martial arts workout) and the CardioX DVDs. They're a lot of fun and super challenging! I've never been one to enjoy exercise tapes but these are different... no girls in leotards or sports bras here! And I'm apologizing in advance at the stereotype, but I think because they were designed for men, there is no complicated choreography to master.

I'm pleased to say that I have a new option... and keeping things fresh is what I need to succeed!

Happy Tuesday!
LP

Eat what you want day...

2009-05-11T21:48:00.004-04:00

Apparently May 11th is Eat What You Want Day... It is one single, solitary day in the year to go off your diet and eat something you really enjoy. A day where you can set aside your dietary "No-No" list and splurge. I googled it and it's a real holiday...

Let me just say I'm kind of glad I just learned about this holiday now, right before I'm going to bed...

Anyway if you celebrated today, I hope it was good! Back to the routine tomorrow!!!

Good night!
LP

A family affair...

2009-05-11T14:48:00.010-04:00

I went to Charlotte this weekend to surpise my mom for Mother's Day and to see my sister and niece. It was a great trip. Jasmine is turning into quite the little girl -- her verbal skills are really improving and she is so funny!

As far as my nutrition goes, I did okay. I didn't get through the weekend without having a cheat, but most of the time I made healthy choices. My sister and mother have jumped on board with getting healthy too which is really really great... I'm so proud of them. They look great!

But now I'm back at home and back on track...

Happy Monday!
LP

Accepting the challenge...

2009-05-07T20:58:00.003-04:00

One of the things I love about blogging is following my friends who are on similar journeys and have like-minded blogs...

Stef, a good friend of mine from college, had a really great idea. Yesterday she blogged (on her "It's a Lifestyle" blog located over there with the other cool blogs) about the President's Challenge program, which encourages all Americans to adopt more active lifestyles and become healthier through exercise. So, she decided to take the challenge and encouraged her readers to do the same... what a cool idea! I signed up today :)

So, here's to being more active... come join us!
LP

It's a start...

2009-05-06T11:10:00.005-04:00

I took a walk in the neighborhood today. It was a just over 2.7 miles and took 40 minutes to complete... which is just under 15 minutes per mile. Not terrible, but not super-duper fantastic either. I'll take it as a starting point from which I can improve. The goal is to someday be able to jog/run the entire path...

But I did reach another milestone/non-scale victory (NSV) today... I have always hated exercising in public. In my head, everyone is judging me and my size. I was dragged to a cycling class which was kind of fun (I went with a friend who provided extra support and encouragement), but I would shy away from exercising in the neighborhood for fear of what people are thinking... I know it's pretty dumb, right? So I was pretty proud of myself for just getting out there... :)

Unfortunately, the rain started up again midway through my walk. I was drenched before I was done...

Happy Wednesday! Stay dry!!!
LP

The Art of Improvisation...

2009-05-05T13:27:00.006-04:00

I like to think that I'm learning a thing or two about myself along this fitness and weight-loss journey. I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit that I am able to push through challenges and do things that I never thought possible... I'm also learning that I don't like change and that I can get pretty rattled if things don't go how as expected. This is one of my struggles...

I'm working on becoming more flexible and able to "go with the flow". Today tested my improvisation skills. After working with Sean I decided to go to the track at UR... but lo and behold -- track is closed because they are building an on-campus stadium. And while there is the path along the lake, it began to rain even heavier... harumph! So, instead of letting the day go to waste, I popped in a DVD and got in a workout. So, I'm giving myself kudos on improvising! And now I can watch The Biggest Loser tonight guilt-free!

But, seriously... when is the rain going to stop???

Have a great day!
LP

A day of preparation...

2009-05-04T19:48:00.004-04:00

So, my next assessment is at the end of the month. And even though I'm NOT going to stress or become obsessive (as is my usual M.O.) but I am going to work hard and be more on the strict side. Which means I'm going to do my best to have NO CHEAT DAYS!! I have a friend who is going to be doing it with me and we'll be able to be support each other.

Today was a great day! I bought new sneakers and boxing gloves (Sean has plans to use them in future workouts...) and then I went to the grocery store and stocked up on fruits and healthy snacks. Isn't the summer great? So many yummy healthy options...

But now I need your help... I'm getting tired of my food routine. I need some new ideas (and please keep in mind that I don't really cook). I'm looking for some healthy, high protein snacks and some new meal ideas. The only big restriction is that I don't eat white flour or other processed carbs...

Thanks guys! Happy Monday!
LP

A new look...

2009-05-04T08:36:00.006-04:00

I decided to change things up... hope you like it!

Oh, I forgot... Sean my trainer is starting a fitness blog. He plans on giving advice and motivation. It's called "Champions Drive On" and you can find a link over there in the "other cool blogs" list.

Have a good one!
LP

Relieved...

2009-05-03T21:04:00.003-04:00

So it's finally over, but not without a little last-day drama... My workout with Sean yesterday caught up with me and I had AWFUL back pain all day long :( I must have looked pretty pathetic because my resident offered to roll me around the hospital more than once (twice he suggested a chair and the third time he offered to use a dolly!).

I called Paula to schedule a massage and she told me to come right over... It was wonderful! I am no longer in agony. She managed to not only massage away the pain but also the stresses of the last 2 weeks. Of course, I still have to stretch and ice but I can handle that... and perhaps the best part -- Paula said no "bodybuilders" for the next few days :)

Looking forward to a wonderful week...

Happy Sunday!
LP

Come Monday, it'll be alright...

2009-05-01T20:20:00.004-04:00

I'm exhausted. I'm cranky. I'm not sleeping well. And it doesn't help matters that the attending on my sister team on wards brings tons of tempting snacks...

Trying to be good, but will definitely be better on Monday.

Here's hoping my weekend goes quickly while the rest of you can savor every moment!!!

2 more days... 2 more days...
LP

Absentee blogger...

2009-04-26T18:01:00.004-04:00

wDay 7 of 14 of another stint on wards at work... halfway there! Things are busy (as usual) but manageable. And I haven't strangled anyone yet, so that's a good sign...

I haven't been so good with my nutrition and fitness lately... I skipped my cardio on Friday and then cancelled on Sean on Saturday (I had only 4 hours of sleep and really felt miserable). And well, it's kind of been a cheat weekend (which is not technically allowed).

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day...

Happy Sunday!
LP

Back in the swing of things...

2009-04-21T20:38:00.002-04:00

So, I almost don't want to blog today because I'm a little afraid that I may jinx myself...

BUT SO FAR, things have been going well this week. Monday I didn't really want to go set up and workout, but I was proud of myself when I did. And today I had a wonderful workout with Sean. I've been doing well with my nutrition and have even incorporated some new foods into my diet. I've gotten myself to bed at a decent hour so that I have enough sleep. And I think it has made a difference. I've been less stressed at work (although I am fortunate to have a rock-star resident).

Here's hoping things keep going my way...

Have a good night!
LP

Checking in...

2009-04-17T13:41:00.004-04:00

So, my week off is coming to an end... I actually am pretty proud of myself for not letting my days off from work and the gym go to waste. And even though I still have the weekend, I will say that I didn't wreak havoc on my overall fitness goals. To recap...

- Sunday and Monday. I worked the afternoon (1-11p) shift. And even though work had it's ordinary frustrations, I managed to be efficient and get out of there almost on time. Truth be told, I actually stayed later at work just chatting with my friend who was just coming on. So, fairly good nights at work relatively speaking.

- Tuesday. I had to teach FCM (my small group class for junior med-students), which meant sitting through them practice doing histories and physical exams on patients who agreed to spend an hour with a med student. These are usually painful to sit through, but I found myself thinking about how special our volunteer patients are -- they answer a billion of personal questions and then sit through what is usually not the smoothest of physical exams, with the only goal of giving med students practice. I decided to write one of them a thank-you note.
After FCM, I took a spinning class with a friend from work. It was a lot of fun, but OUCH! I actually had a bruise in a rather unfortunate location. But I was so proud that I made it through the class. And I even got props from the instructor!

- Wednesday. Wednesday was a rainy, yucky day. The kind of day that you just want to stay in bed. My car was in the shop (my "check engine light" kept coming on intermittently"). I greatly underestimated how hard it was raining and I decided to walk to the Honda dealership to pick up my car. Well, that was a bad call because when I finally got there (it's a little more than a mile away) I was DRENCHED! Oh well, at least I got a little activity in.
I spent the rest of the day pampering myself... I went to the bookstore to get some new reading material, and then to the nail salon for a pedicure. Later, I had an appointment for a massage. I must say, I never thought I would be someone who enjoyed massages... I'm pretty self-conscious about my size. But I've learned to let that go and relax. I was so relaxed that I was even able to take my "check engine light" coming back on in stride.

- Thursday. Back to the Honda dealership in the morning (actually twice because the first time the light had gone back off) and I'm happy to report the problem is fixed. Next on the agenda was a trip to Fredericksburg for lunch with a HS friend who travelled to DC for work. It was so nice to catch up and the weather was absolutely lovely. Enough to put anyone in a fantastic mood!

- Friday. I weighed in at WW to make sure that I hadn't gained 10 lbs while not paying close attention to my diet (I hadn't... I stayed exactly the same). Then I dropped by the gym to visit with Sean. I wanted to schedule my assessment for tomorrow so that I can start fresh on Monday. We had a nice talk.
Later today I go for a facial. Should be another relaxing experience... never had one before.

So, that's all I have to report. Here's hoping all of this relaxation and self-nurturing helps me keep the stresses of the next 2 weeks in control (ah, yes... I start another 14 day stint at work). I'm going to try and find a little time for myself each of those days (kind of like a maintenance program)... I'll let you know how it turns out!

Have a wonderful weekend!
LP

Taking time off, part 2...

2009-04-11T11:57:00.002-04:00

I know that originally the plan was to wait until I had a vacation planned for the week I take off. But, the need to take a break more urgently became readily apparent in the last couple of days. Plus, after looking at May's schedule I realized that I really don't have a good chunk of time to schedule a vacation.... so today was my last training session for a week.

Truth be told, I'm a little afraid of what this week will bring. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself. And since I'm supposed to be more lenient (without going overboard) with my diet, I am concerned that I may not be ready to be let to my own devices... what if I don't have the self-control and fall back to all of my old habits?

Even though I don't have a vacation planned, I intend to spend some time doing things for me. Things to pamper myself like getting a massage, taking some long walks... maybe I can even plan a day trip or two.

I'm hopeful that after this week I will be re-energized and ready to tackle my fitness goals head-on with a positive attitude. I really hope that this is just what I need to start seeing some concrete results once again.

Have a wonderful weekend! Happy Easter!
LP

Taking some time off...

2009-04-09T16:43:00.003-04:00

So yesterday I told Sean that I needed to take a week off from training. I need some time to decompress. My body needs some time to repair itself. I was really afraid of what Sean might say (especially since I had a mini-breakdown recently and told him that I was thinking of quitting), but he was actually open to the idea. But he doesn't want me to just take next week off. He wants me to actually plan something so that I can enjoy that time off.

Today I have a pretty bad migraine. I've tried to sleep the worst parts of it off and now it's a dull-roar of a headache. So I'm taking today off, too.

Hope your Thursday is better than mine!
LP

A work in progress...

Checking in / On the road...

Catching up...

I'm still here...

My friend Lisa...

Updates

That which does not kill us...

Good News / Bad News

A surprising decision and starting points...

Starting over with a renewed spirit...

It's been a while...

Rock Bottom...

Getting there...

Coming out of hiding

Motivation/Consistency Problems

C25K and My New Goal

The Importance of the Bounce-back

Power of Positive Peer Pressure / Week 2 Goals

Monument Ave 10K... with a little help from my friend!

The Honeymoon High

Week 1's plans...

Branching out...

checking in...

Switching gears...

Time to rewind... (since I'm going backwards anyway)

Things are looking up!

A case of the blahs...

Feast or Famine...

False start...

A new day

Laura and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

10K training update

Sparkpeople.com

What we have here is a failure to communicate!

10K training... off to a soggy start!

Soliciting thoughts from the peanut gallery ...

Coming up with a game plan...

The slippery slope...

My "New Week's" resolution...

Happy New Year!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

Interactive Blog Post

With a little help from my friends...

Nothing like a little guilt...

Catching up...

Coming clean

Coulda, woulda, shoulda...

Back to work...

Race Day

Gratitude challenge...

Nothing positive to say...

False start...

More updates...

Wow, that stinks...

Training update...

"Running" update

The balancing act...

Day 3 -- things are a little better :)

Day 1 -- how many calories are in humble pie???

Time for my annual freak-out...

Just what the doctor ordered...

Crazy? I was crazy once...

Yes, I'm avoiding you...

My visit with the nutritionist (take 2)...

Never say never...

Nutrition woes...

This post is for the girls...

30 second rant...

Getting back on track (again)...

My own worst enemy...

Road trip!

Proper Planning Prevents P*ss-poor Performance

Quick update...

Lazy weekend...

When the cat's away... the mice will work harder???

A promise to myself...

**sigh**

untitled...

Turning the corner...

Soliciting advice from the peanut gallery...

sigh